SCENE 1 – A VIRGIN DOSE
Stage right: Living room (unlit, as the scene begins). Sofa (facing a flat screen TV – the back of the TV toward the audience), three or four soft chairs, coffee table, end tables, lamps, bookcase, rug. All neater and fresher than they are later. A door at the rear leads into other rooms, not visible to the audience (except for a bathroom, lit in Scene 2). An outside door (toward stage left), where DEE and BRAND, together with another couple (FEMALE and MALE), arrive in nighttime – spotlight on them – at the rise. They are in a raucous, party mood, with continual, intermittent laughter among the group.
FEMALE
Nighty night.
DEE
Sleepy tight.
FEMALE
Don’t let the rug rats … //
MALE
Don’t let the werewolves …//
FEMALE
Don’t let the passion fruit … //
BRAND
Want to stay for the night?
DEE
Or maybe a bite?
MALE
A bite?
FEMALE
I see some … anticipation.
BRAND
I can bring you a dream.
FEMALE
Or maybe a scream?
BRAND
A whole new obsession.
MALE
Obsession?
BRAND
You better believe it.
FEMALE
It’s a full moon tonight.
MALE
Oh, it’s happenin’, Sweetheart.
DEE
[jokingly] Shut up.
FEMALE
Don’t do what I’m plannin’ to do.
DEE
My heels aren’t tall enough. Sorry. But hang tight, Sister.
MALE
Hang loose.
FEMALE
Say a prayer for Mother Goose.
DEE
Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?
FEMALE
Virginia Woolf.
DEE
Virginia Woolf.
BRAND
Oh, who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?
MALE
Virginia, the werewolf wolf.
They laugh, hug, and the couple exits. BRAND lets DEE in and turns on the lights. They kick off their shoes.
BRAND
Why do orangutans have orange hair?
DEE
Because there’s no peroxide in the jungle.
They laugh.
BRAND
An’ what do orangutan professors teach,
when they’re lecturin’ in London?
DEE
The law of the jungle.
They laugh again.
BRAND
What’s an orangutan’s favorite book?
DEE
The Apes of Wrath.
They laugh again.
BRAND
What does a four-hundred-pound orangutan eat?
DEE
Whatever he wants.
They laugh again; and DEE starts dancing around the room, then stands on the coffee table….
DEE
Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Virginia Woolf.
Virginia Woolf.
Oh, who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?…
[beat; and bowing] I am, George.
BRAND
The name’s Brand.
DEE
Dee’s mine. Pleased to meet you, Brand.
BRAND
The pleasure’s all mine.
He pulls her into his arms, and begins kissing her … first on the lips, then the chin, the neck, and finally, lower. They undress. The lights dim to dark, as they make love on the sofa. Afterwards they lie there, relaxed and laughing, in each other’s arms, and then put their undergarments back on. Lights return.
BRAND
I have a surprise for you, Dee.
DEE
What?
BRAND
I’ll show you.
BRAND gets up, and goes into a back room. He returns with a loaded hypodermic needle and a piece of rubber hose.
DEE
What’s that?
BRAND
Heroin. Just a little taste, at first…. For dessert.
DEE
O, my God!
BRAND
Don’t worry. It’s not much.
It’s safe. It won’t hurt you.